I sure love this guy

I know that probably half of the posts on this blog are about how awesome my husband is, but that's because he is!  Funny story:

Lately I've been having a lot of more painful contractions {still not regular unfortunately...} Anyways, I'm wincing on the floor in major pain, can't even stand up straight, and Jeremy thinks it would be a fantastic idea to tell me about a scripture in Genesis about how God told Eve, "IT'S GONNA HURT!" He then proceeded to pull out the scriptures and show me the exact reference {You know, just incase I wanted to look it up later or something? We're still working on the whole when Sarah is in pain we jump to her side and massage/hold/do whatever she commands thing}  As the pain began to let up he showed me another scripture in John saying that 'I'll forget all about it once I hold her in my arms'.  Thanks honey haha. HA.

BUT he redeemed himself by giving me a long overdue mini-pedicure.

{ L O V E }

Hopefully not much longer :) We can't wait to hold you Madeline!

Patience and Pineapples

I'm learning very quickly that when it comes to this baby 

I am not a very patient person.  

All of a sudden I just REALLY want her to come! 

I'm ready to go to the hospital and get-r-done!

You know how when women go past their due date they start doing all those "myths" to get their contractions going?  

Well I may have tried a few harmless ones during the past few days.  

No acupuncture or castor oil - I'm not that impatient, but you know, 

lots of walking and pineapple.

mmm.... so good!

too.much.pineapple.

yeeah....

That's right.  Last night I ate (almost) 

an ENTIRE PINEAPPLE all by myself! 

{Jeremy had a few bites}  So far I'm sad to report that no changes have been witnessed.... It's a good thing I like pineapple or this would have been a really miserable experience haha. We still have one more pineapple in the fridge that I think I'm going to try and eat most of with dinner.  The worst part is my tongue gets so raw! But if there's even the slightest chance that it could put Madeline in my arms sooner, I'm willing to give it a shot :) 

It feels good not to be just sitting and waiting but actually contributing somewhat to the coming of this miraculous event!

Other than that we don't have much to report around these parts.  We were supposed to get snowed on but thankfully that didn't happen.  Jeremy and I went on a rather long walk this after noon and it was {COLD}

I decided I'm ok with hanging on to fall for a few more weeks.  

Happy 37 WEEKS! We're officially full term!

kluvyoubye

The Waiting Game....

I know what you're thinking - it's a bit early to start playing that game. 

 I know.  And I wouldn't have started playing, 

but yesterday my whole mindset changed.  

{My mom's probably rolling her eyes, because I called to ask her advice yesterday and made her promise not to tell anyone because I don't want to feel like an idiot thinking she's coming only to wait 3 more weeks...}  But you know me mom, I just have to let it all out some way or another and publicly might as well be that way.

So yesterday as we were walking home from class I started having sharp pains about where I'd imagine my cervix is.  You know in medieval movies when the bad guys are trying to break into the castle and they have to break down the big wooden doors.  They take like a huge tree trunk or something and repeatedly slam it into the doors {If you have no idea what I'm talking about the first few seconds of this Lord of the Rings clip kind of demonstrates it}  That's what it felt like.  Like this little girl kept gearing up to slam her head over and over again to "open the gates".  And it was every couple of minutes.  It hurt a lot {not as much as I imagine being in actual labor will hurt} but enough that Jeremy's hand got a lot of tight squeezes.  But I was still walking through them and talking through them.  We made it home, and they were still coming pretty consistently, but I wasn't feeling any 'contractions'.  Or what I imagined real contractions felt like.  I texted my mom asking her to describe her contractions to me - she called in less than a minute haha.  She said just keep monitoring them and keep track of how long and how often.  Of course I didn't have a single one after that... yeeah... But later I started having either really strong Braxton Hicks, or pathetic little contractions.  My abdomen kept tightening up and there was some downward force, but nothing really painful.  Went to bed half expecting to head to the hospital sometime during the night - yeah... we're still here.  Still having the same "contractions" pretty frequently and a few of those 'open the gates' pains.  

Its so frustrating because I wasn't even planning on getting paranoid/excited for at least a few more weeks.  And now here I am, practically convincing myself she's gonna get here any day now.  Gah.... This morning Jeremy and I decided we're just ready to have her haha.  I wish it were that easy.  We've yet to pack the hospital bag - I guess we should probably get on that... Part of me says "be ready! Any day now!" and the other part of me says, "Who are you kidding... you've got plenty of time!"  So I guess we'll just keep waiting.  Oh by the way, looking up real mom's explanation of what their contractions feel like is not very helpful.  EVERYONE is DIFFERENT! Its crazy.  So who knows what mine will be like.  So far I've proved to be different than my mom so there goes my best guess ha. Well that's probably enough rambling for now.  Jeremy and I have decided however that we're going to go for a long walk this evening :) You know, help her along lol.  Its weird, I thought I'd be scared or nervous, but I'm really not at all {yet}.  Just ready to go for it and meet this little girl who I've been living with the past 8+ months!  Alright, here I am rambling some more... I'm going to go get ready for class and finish up some laundry.  We'll keep you posted!

kluvyoubye

Happy Halloween

I've decided that holidays are a whole lot 

more exciting when you are either 

(A) A little kid or

(B) The parent of a little kid.

Being newly married is great.  But right now I'm wishing that I had a house full of little kids, imagining a life as a princess, a pirate,  an exotic animal, or just the always classic ghost.  I can feel their energy as they patiently wait all afternoon to put on their costumes.  And I can see them running to the door as daddy walks in from work, begging him to take them around the neighborhood.  I wish I could have whipped together some awesome homemade costumes, and decorated them with face paint.  I can't wait for that day.  But I guess being this close to welcoming our first little princess into the world is great too :)

I wish I could say we did something awesome for Halloween - but the truth is we didn't.  We got a bunch of candy, ate way too much of it ourselves, and carved a pumpkin.  No parties. No dressing up. I'm spending my night alone on the couch doing homework that was procrastinated all weekend.  

Jeremy's at work, so its just me and the babe.  

{Speaking of 'the babe' that's what Jeremy often refers to Madeline as.  It's h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s.  He does it sub-consciencely too which is even funnier.  She has also been called 'the child' and 'the young one'.  

What a funny dad}

Just to document that Halloween really did happen we took a few pictures:

So we aren't actually aloud to have flames in our apartment... But you can't just carve a jack-o-lantern and not marvel at how amazing it looks lit up! So we hurried into the bathroom {The community 'watch guard' lives across from us, so we had to be sneaky} lit a candle and took a picture on the toilet haha. Only we forgot to close the door... I thought it was a funny picture.

Jack-o-lantern take II

Pretty awesome, right? I gutted it and drew the face on, but Jeremy did the actual carving - go Jer!

And just for kicks, we put our jack-o-lantern in Jeremy's shirt to compare bellies.  

Can't believe that I still won biggest belly contest! It's like a 13 lb pumpkin! Alas...

Well Happy Halloween! Hope yours was more eventful than ours!

kluvyoubye

Last Weekend {Including a recent picture of the 8 month pregnant me}

Last weekend was simply F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!

My Dad, and two of my sisters, Hannah and Rachel, and my brother Joshua drove down to Utah for my cousin Stephen's wedding.  It was so fun to see them and celebrate Stephen's special day!

They were married in the beautiful Salt Lake City Temple.  It was such a special sealing :) Reminded me of ours (10 months ago! Where does the time go?) I've never seen Stephen so happy!

Joshua had a hard time warming up to me - perhaps because I look a little different than I did a few months ago.  Plus I think he was a little overwhelmed being in a new place with lots of unfamiliar people.  But he warmed up soon enough.

Here it is - a picture of me... I seriously don't see myself this big, well I do, but it always surprises me to see pictures of myself.  But it's officially documented! We're posing with the cardboard cut out of David, our cousin (Stephen's brother) who is on a mission in Florida.  

Stephen had this grin on ALL day! It was so cute! We're so glad you found each other

 Stephen and Amy :)

Don't you love the cake! I thought the Temple was a precious touch.

You'll notice that this picture has Joshua and I out of focus.  That's because I REALLY wanted a picture of the guy just over my left shoulder.  Can you see his mustache? Doesn't even do it justice! That thing was like 4 inches long on both sides! I knew Jeremy would appreciate it, and he couldn't come, so I had my dad take a picture of Joshua and I.  Dad had never done anything like this before and he was laughing so hard lol good times... 

Cutest wedding gift ever!

{Coming from the girl who absolutely loves Martinelli's}

Congrats Stephen and Amy! Thanks for giving us a reason to get together :)

Patience

I can't explain how hard it is to have a person growing inside you, and not know what they look like and who they are and will become.  I'm constantly wondering if Madeline is going to look more like Daddy?

Or Mommy?

Or what a perfect blend of those two is.  I kind of secretly hope she has a little tuft of dark hair like her daddy, 

at least when she's born, so she doesn't have to be bald 

until she's one and a half like me. 

I want to know what kind of a person she'll be.  I know I'll love her no matter what. But is she going to be thoughtful and shy, gabby and sassy, or just delightful and charming?

I can't wait to be her mom, and watch her grow and see who she becomes. But at the same time I want to know right now! {I'm impatient I know} I guess I'll just have to wait and let her surprise me a little bit every day.  Only 60 days til her due date! 

{I'm still hoping she comes a week early, 

but its probably not going to happen}

So here's to patience - or trying to be patient.  It is definitely a lesson I'll never be done learning.

kluvyoubye

I wanna hold this baby!

I've gotten to the point that I feel our little baby all the time. I feel her kicking, and moving, and I just want to hold her so bad! I want to watch her move and see her little fingers close around my finger. I love her so much and I'm so ready to cradle her in my arms :) 

I keep going into her room and going through all her clothes. Deciding what outfit I'm going to bring to the hospital for her to wear home. I really want to start packing my hospital bag, but Jeremy insists that I wait til at least November.  I suppose that's reasonable... seeing as she's due at the end of November...

But gah the next two and a half months seem like they're gonna take forever! And I want her to go full term, obviously, but I'm just getting antsy to hold her and look at her and meet her and see what she's like! To watch her grow up and put flowers and bows in her hair and just gah I can't wait!!! 

Ok, just wanted to share that with you... and now I'm going to bed, because I'm exhausted... 

kluvyoubye

An Update On Our Little Girl

Hey everybody! Hows life going for you? My life is - well it was a long day... 

School is exciting and I'm loving the feeling of having purpose in my life again {the whole sit around all day thing gets kinda boring after a while} So far I enjoy my classes - I'm a little nervous about one, but over all they are exciting and I'm ready to dominate this semester :)

Just a fun little story from my Floral Design Class.  The teacher is loud and fun and kinda off the wall in an awesome sort of way.  We have four midterms and we only have to take three! haha! How awesome is that?  Oh and there's no final wowza! That means that midterm right after thanksgiving doesn't have to be taken so I'm kinda pumped lol

Today I had a doctor's appointment and {other than the fact that my stupid old doctor didn't get my records faxed... grrr....} it was so fun to hear her heartbeat. I feel her kick all day, and I love it. Its magical.  But there's something about hearing the beating heart of a beautiful daughter of God growing inside of me.  And growing FAST!  I'm 27 and a half weeks pregnant, and she is measuring at 29 weeks! say wah??? She'd better come on the Friday before Thanksgiving, cause I am not giving birth to a 10 lb baby! I'm not as generous as her aunts lol

Madeline definitely likes college, as soon as I sit down for class its just kick kick kick and I love it :)  I'd like to think that she's proud of me, for not choosing between an education and being her mom.  That she's proud of me for holding my head high on campus, even when it seems that there are constantly eyes piercing down on me screaming, 'irresponsible, stupid, careless' etc.  I don't know if people are really thinking it, but it feels like it. Is it weird that I think of her as my friend and in my mind she's a little more competent than in actuality she is?  I can't wait for the adventures we're going to have together.  I'm excited to give all of myself in a way I never have before to someone who needs me and relies on me.  I can't wait to paint her nails, and go shopping with her :)  To lay down the law, and watch as she laments over her 'ending life'; to be her shoulder to cry on and her confidant. To have picnics at the park and lay on Jeremy's chest while we watch her play on the playground, and dry her tears when she gets hurt. I know, I know, motherhood is harder than it looks, but there's those good, amazing magical moments too, right? I have to believe there are.  

And I can't wait to have them :D

kluvyoubye

What is LOVE?

I am officially six months pregnant! 

{pick up jaw now}

Hard to believe that its been six months since we found out our home would be blessed by a little child of God.  I can't believe all that we've been through, and yet all that we have to look forward to, too!

I must confess that pregnancy has started to take its toll on my poor body.  {How do people have babies when they are old?  I mean I'm a fairly young mother, and I am wiped out!} Its hard to look at yourself as beautiful when the first thought that pops in your head upon seeing your reflection is 'hippo' - as in hippopotamus.  Poor husband has been a trooper - always reminding me how beautiful I am, and how proud he is of me.   It makes me feel purty good :) 

Lately I've been thinking about love.  For the past few years love has meant starry nights, romantic dinners, martinelli's, and lots of cuddling with my hubby.  But my definition is changing - not changing, but gaining an additional definition.  While I still have a lot to learn about the love of a mother for her child, I'm starting to get a glimpse of it really means.  Love means that this emerging belly button of mine  shows I've chosen to sacrifice my physical appearance to create life. 

 And these stretch marks -- well I'm still working seeing the beauty in those... {Is there a way to make those go away, like after birth? Oh well, there's always the resurrection, right!}

The point is, being a mom is not just fun pic-nics in the park and cute happily-all-the-time children, but so far its been worth it.  And I am so grateful for the chance I have to take part in this beautiful miracle, even if I'm super duper not psyched about the picture above... haha

kluvyoubye

Some Thoughts On Birth

Fact:  Approximately 50% of all women get an epidural during the labor and delivery process.  

Ever since I learned what an epidural was {you know, the video you watch in eighth grade} I've wanted one.  I've never been scared about the 'giant' needle in my back, or the risk of being paralyzed, my only thought process has been - less pain?  Let's do it!  But recently I've been thinking about all the women in the world from Eve until now who've done it the way God intended.  I've been thinking about how our bodies were created to do this, and that {given circumstances are normal} maybe the best thing, for me at least, is to go the natural route.  Growing up with a doctor for a Dad I guess I've always had a sort of proactive approach to things.  Not in any extreme way, but if I had the choice between a doctor and a midwife, I'd choose the doctor, hands down, one hundred percent of the time.  And while I'm not making any jump to the all natural side of life, I just think that maybe going natural would be a good thing for me, as far as this baby goes.  Or at least starting out with that mind set and playing it by ear.  

I want the moment that Madeline is placed in my arms to be overwhelmingly special - and I know it will be, no matter what, but I guess I've just been feeling empowered lately by the thought of all the pain that will be washed away the moment I see her, and hold her in my arms for the first time. 

That being said, I know that every woman is different.  Everyone reacts to pain differently, and sometimes there are complications where c-sections, or epidurals, or being induced are necessary - and one of those things very well may be a part of our birth story, but at least for now, I'm think we're going to try going natural - and if I don't like it, then next time I'll get an epidural and appreciate it way more!