January 21, 2012

My Reaction to Motherhood

Before I start this post, I would like everyone
to know that I have no intention of offending anyone,
or demeaning anyone's sense of motherhood.
I'm simply explaining my reaction to becoming a mother.
I realize that some babies are easier than others, and Madeline
has been a very easy baby. I truly hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings.

Over Christmas break I had the privilege of getting together 
with some friends from high school.
It was so fun to catch up and hear how everyone is doing.

So far I am the only one married.  And the only one with a baby.
Needless to say things are a little, not awkward, but just not the
same as they used to be.  If you get my vibe.  
It's not a bad thing, just a thing.  Which is fine! I still 
love getting to see them a few times a year.

As we were talking, one of them asked me what the 
biggest surprise of becoming a mom has been.
Almost with out hesitation I said, 
"How easy it's been."
She gave me a rather strange look, and 
I probably couldn't have explained myself better that 
night, but I didn't know how.
So here's my more correct explanation.

Since I was eight or so, everyone has 
told me that I am just a natural born mother.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm the oldest of 
nine children.  Maybe it's the fact that I grew 
up in a home where exemplary motherhood was 
demonstrated to me on a daily basis.
Maybe it's more than that.  That as part 
of my unique and divine nature, motherhood 
comes easily for me {or has so far, at least}. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is, all through my 
pregnancy I kept having doubts and fears that it wouldn't
come naturally for me, and that I'd freak out and be way
in over my head.  But so far that hasn't happened. 
There hasn't been a time that I regretted the choice we made to 
start our family quickly.  I haven't ever felt too overwhelmed or
lost and confused. The truth is I just love being a mom. 
And I haven't ever felt more myself than I do now.

I love watching her grow into herself every day.
I love watching her observe the world around her, taking everything in.
I love the way she takes a minute to look up and smile at me 
in the middle of an eating.  Or the way she beams at me 
when I get up in the middle of the night to feed her
{It's so hard to enforce putting her back to bed 
when she's so adorable and happy!}
It even melts my heart when she puckers her lips and 
falls apart in tears. I could go on and on, but my point is, 
there's so many things I love about her, that the diapers,
the lack of sleep, the spit up, and the poop stains are all worth it.

Motherhood has come easily for me, just as music, sports, 
academics, generosity, teaching, leadership and so many
other things come easily for others.


  1. good for you! :o) I hope this didn't offend anyone either! Your mom is amazing, and you are so privileged to have her to learn from! Same with all those little siblings! All I care to be is a mom, and I hope the next baby is a bit easier than Nathan has been (and I definitely hope the birth is easier than his emergency cesarean!) You are awesome :o)

  2. I was always told the same, a natural mother. And I had no doubt that is all I wanted to be. With this being said, it is the hardest thing I have ever experienced. From my pregnancy to my emergency cesarean to my colicky baby, it's been a challenge. But I can't wait to have more because there are moments that are just perfect.


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